bedtime

Before going to bed tonight, I pulled out a book that a friend of mine let me borrow. I really need to buy my own copy so I can give her this one back. I absolutely LOVE it, and have to remind myself constantly that it isn't my book and I can't mark in it.

But, this is what I read tonight. It's exactly what I needed. :)

Beyond the Horizon
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. Matthew 24:12

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of Your hands. Psalm 138:8

It can be discouraging sometimes when we step back to take a mental scan of what is available on the man front. To tell the truth, the pickings look very slim. however, what your eyes see and what you have experienced in the past have absolutely nothing to do with God's plans. His ability to perform His promises. Perhaps we need to take our eyes off of the horizon line of our own rationalizations and get them fixed on the promises of He who knows where every good man is hidden.
Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, according to Hebrews 11:1. Your hope cannot be in men or in the surplus that we cannot see. it has to be in God's word to you. he is the only man who cannot lie. If He says it, He will do it. Go on, dare to hope again and know that He will finish every project He has started on your behalf. he will make sure that you have the love and companionship you need to live a joyful and productive life. And that, my friend, is that!
from Sassy, Single, and Satisfied by Michelle McKinney Hammond



Thanks, God, for Your plans in my life - for Your hand and Your movement. Thank You for this time of struggle as I can feel You drawing me closer to Your side. Help me keep my eyes fixed on Your promises and Your will - that I may come through strong and be a witness to others. I love You.

lately

Sometimes I want to just have a different life - somehow have different circumstances and experiences. I would love to take this life, throw it out, and start completely over again. Oh, the things I would change and do differently, and the great impact they would have on my life. Sometimes I wonder if things will ever change. Will I ever move out of my parents' house and get married? If not, will this feeling of intense loneliness ever go away or is it a constant that will always be there?

I'm terrified of my dear friends moving away. It's happening, and there's nothing that can be done about it. Yes, I am extremely happy and excited for them, but I am scared out of my wits at the same time. They've been there for me like nobody else lately, and it's hard to let go of that. Spending all of my spare time with them is my defense mechanism against my current pain.

Shifting your dependence from people to God is so hard, but I know it's necessary. Just a very hurtful way to go about it.






Sorry for the ramblings - just had to get some weight off my shoulders. Wish I could type out everything I'm thinking and feeling right now. Not sure that's possible though.